What Does Forgiveness Even Mean?

• What Does Forgiveness Even Mean? 

• Genesis 50: 15 - 21; Matthew 18: 21- 35  

Forgiveness is not a popular concept in the culture today. There appears to be a deep seated fear that others are getting something for nothing, and worse, others are getting a benefit that I am paying for. When this is your mindset, “Law and Order” seems like a return to justice, where you get what you deserve, and nobody gets a free ride. 

The brothers of Joseph and his technicolor coat are worried. They believe that Joseph, who they sold into slavery - only for him to become rich and powerful in Egypt, is likely to pay them back ‘evil for evil’ now that their father has died. 

It is probably a fair assumption. There can be little more humiliating than to be beaten, stripped, and sold into slavery by your own brothers. At some point, there ought to be a payback, it is only fair. 

Peter asks Jesus how many times does he have to forgive his brother. Peter even suggests seven times, as though that were the limits of his imagination. Here Jesus blows his mind by saying seventy times seven, which of course, is a number not worth counting. (At some point we will talk about the use of numbers in the Bible, and why arithmetic is the least useful way to deal with them.) For today, lets just agree, seventy times seven is too many to count. 

Forgiveness shows up a lot of times in the Bible, so I think we can agree that this is important to the God we love. I would suggest, that God forgiving us, is what makes it possible to love and trust Jesus. If God were truly a righteous and demanding judge, not a one of us could bear the inspection of God. 

Let us say that God is so good, that God will not keep a count of all of our sins. Really, I do not believe God would accept the quality of life that is required to keep track of slights, insults and violations of the law of love. I mean think about it. It is miserable just to watch what is reported on the News each night, how overbearing must it be to be all-knowing? Why waste precious life energy over keeping track of insults? 

We know that God cares because, well, the best way to say it is - Jesus. Jesus was born in human form, walked among us. The love of God evident in Jesus gives us confidence that God is love and life, and not devoted to retributive justice. 

Joseph, who was wronged by his own brothers, is now in a position to “teach them a lesson.” He could make them pay for the wrong they had done. Clearly Joseph sets a model for us when he claims that the harm done to him was used by God to save God’s people. A good and generous God turned evil into a blessing. That is a lesson worth learning.  

You and I are never completely good or bad. On our best days we are both strong and weak and are responding to mixed motives. I have always believed that we are not truly mature until we can see and appreciate both sides of an argument, and hold both of them to be good - at the same time. 

I had lunch with a gentleman a couple of years ago now, and he embodied this kind of thinking in a new way for me. He explained that he was greatly pained by the anger and distrust between politicians today. 

I told him I remembered a time when a conservative and a liberal could have a beer, and emerge with a new appreciation of what the other had been trying to say. He countered, “I know that a conservative and liberal should be able to sit together and emerge with an idea that had never occurred to either of them before.” 

He then explained that he and his wife have traveled the world with their friends. His best friend is a very liberal and active person. He himself, is a local leader in the Republican Party. When his friend decided to run for the State legislature, he took a year off of work to organize and run his friend’s campaign. His Republican friends thought he had lost his mind. 

His explanation was very simple. “This is the best man I know. He loves this country as much as I do, and maybe more. I know him to be fair and hard working. He would be a much more reliable representative in the State House than any other person I know.” 

Do you see what he did here? He changed the discourse from ideology, and political gain, to integrity and concern. It is not about perfection and winning the day, it is about doing what is best for the community and the world and trusting the one with the greatest integrity.

You know, God forgives you. I do not believe that Jesus died on the cross to change God’s mind about humans. I believe that Jesus came to earth to change humanity’s understanding of God. The crucifixion is God’s way of standing with all of those who have never known justice. It is God’s way of saying that life in not fair, and there is no place too dark, too forlorn, for the presence of God to be with the ones God loves. 

So if God forgives you, when will you forgive yourself for being imperfect. Tom Hunsley and I laughed at how we looked over the Stewardship Campaign literature, and failed to recognize that there was no line for names to be included on the pledge card. Perfection is such a high standard. 

In fact, perfection is only a goal, a target. To live with the expectation of perfection is not helpful or healthy. When the LaSalle County Nuclear Power Plant was finally at the point of being licensed for power operation, the initial class of reactor operators and supervisors were required to take examinations administered by the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. At that point, I was the lead instructor for licensed operators. 

The man who was the head of the Operations Department also needed to license. He was an Annapolis graduate, a retired Naval Officer with wide experience in the Nuclear Navy. He possessed an intense attitude, only surpassed by his vast engineering mind and experience. He could be hard to deal with, and expected great dedication from those who worked for him. 

Part of the exam was written, and part of the exam was an oral exam, administered while walking through the vast complex of the power plant. I found John in the hallway after the written portion of the exam. “How did it go, John?” I asked cheerfully. With a panicked look on his face he replied, “I don’t know. I did not answer everything correctly. I realize now, I made some mistakes.” “But over all it was good, right?” I said, trying to be encouraging. 

“I don’t know,” he said. “I can never tell what is good enough when it isn’t all right.” My heart went out to him that day. He suffered so because he was human. 

The poets, among them Leonard Cohen, have often commented that “There is a crack in everything, and that is where the light gets in.” If we were able to be perfect, we would never need to know God, God’s love, and trust God’s forgiveness. Joseph told his brothers that in spite of their terrible evil, God was able to make a blessing for them, and make them a blessing to the world. Part of the problem with being a billionaire is never needing to say you are sorry or face your imperfections, and the light has a hard time getting in. 

Until we forgive ourselves we will never be able to forgive others. Think of the times you have failed, come up short, behaved badly or let others down. Recognize that God was with you, and forgave you in that failure. God blessed you enough to learn from that moment, and do better.

As you think of the times that others have hurt you because they were careless, or even if you believe they were being cruel, know that God has forgiven them. God has forgiven them. Until you decide to let go of your hurt and anger or disappointment, some part of your soul will be withheld from God’s grace. 

When you find it in your heart to forgive your own humanity, you are in a position to model Joseph and forgive those who have sinned against you. You do not forget the pain. You do not accept further abuse. But you release that part of your soul where pain and anger are fed, and make yourself more fully able to love and be loved. 

This is not the last word to say about forgiveness, but it is enough for now. It is always tempting to try to put 10 pounds into a 5 pound bag, and a Sunday sermon can never be more than a 5 pound bag. 

So let us walk away with this part of God’s wisdom. God loves you and forgives you. God wants for you to love God back - as completely as you can, so you must forgive yourself. It is better to love and be loved than it is to be perfect. Trust me on this, It is better to love and be loved than it is to be perfect. Amen.